Returned to H showing me an email he sent to ow telling her that their relationship needed to be platonic in word as well as deed. H told her he would be letting me read all communications, so she shouldn't be telling him about "aching" for him etc.
Said he did it to show he is at least thinking in the right direction.
I am rather taken aback. Skeptical too.
MizJ, I do not blame you. Your MLCer sure is entertaining, though. Not so much when you are dealing with him in "real life", I'll bet.
I am a little biased against the "words" these days. Mine is all talk and no action, but I do hope yours surprises you in a pleasant way. My trust radar is right off and this feels to me like a guilt ploy. I am happy to be wrong.
If he got rid of the OW, would that change anything for you? Would you maybe want to work on things or ultmately are you done?
I have always found that "wait and see" has worked for me. It helps me not to make rash decisions.
I think you should be very happy with yourself, though. I have dreamed of telling xSO that I wanted completely off this ride but I haven't yet. You are beginning to know yourself, MizJ and that is a precious gift.
And as always, we are here to support you and whatever decisions you make - or put off until you are ready to make them.
How is your back doing? You may be doing too much lifting and/or standing, as well as the stressors at home are taking their toll on you physically.
Try to pamper yourself a bit w/a nice bubblebath and candles.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Back is a little better, thanks so much for checking on me!!
Haven't looked into alanon as of yet. Have contacted a friend who gets counseling from a pastor, may check that route first.
Not sure what to make of H's letter.
I was really floored by it because for H its such a huge concession. But then there's the issue of do I even believe the letter...
It must mean something to H though because he has withdrawn from me since. No more requests/demands to snuggle which makes me feel he believes he sacrificed something.
I did thank him for the letter. Other than that have just been giving him his "space".
And trying to figure out how I can swing a gym membership. I'd really like to start working out again. I figure it would serve the dual purpose of getting me healthier, and keeping me busy so less time around H.
Watching and waiting to see what's next ~ J
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Long and busy day for me - have to work both jobs after getting up before 5am to drive S20 to work
H is off, haven't heard from him since yesterday morning. Today this just makes me sad.
D18 is actually more of a concern right now. She's just immersed in the party life. Hasn't had a job in over a month and shows no sign of getting one or even trying too hard. Now she has no car - admittedly not her fault but the result of which is she uses my car and returns it on "E" and smelling "funny" (which gives me a headache... in more ways than one) I told her last night my car was no longer at her service so now I haven't heard from her either.
The three sons are doing okay - thank heavens for that.
I plan to sign up at the local gym on Friday I'm looking forward to sweating. Not sure I can afford it, but not sure I can afford not to either. Fortunately its not a "contract" sort of gym so if I have an extra tight month I can skip.
Been scouting out local colleges too - would like to at least get an associates, or even a certificate. I've had too many lessons on the non-permanence of things to assume my wonderful job is totally secure. But it will be great to have it on my resume, at the very least.
Best run, housework beckons.
Cheers
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I think the gym will not only help you physically, but also mentally. You need an outlet to let off steam and this is a great way to do so.
I'm glad to see that you are thinking about going back to school too. It's always nice to have goals and I know you'll achieve this one.
Please try to get some rest this weekend. Your back needs a little tender loving care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I do hope you know how much you help people with your attention and engagement. Your crown is filling up with stars to be sure.
H texted yesterday morning after I posted.
Told me the night before had gone well and he was "up".
I answered "sounds good"..... I guess he must have expected more?? Because after about 15 minutes I got
"So you work today?" (Eye roll here because he knows I work everyday - lol - stupid question)
I told him that I did.
He then told me about the weather there (now what, he's "making conversation" with me?)
So I told him about the weather here and "good luck today. ttyl"
Thought I did the DB thing there ok-doky.
Another text last night. Ah, luck turned her cold shoulder, now H was not doing so well.
I answered "Sorry to hear that. I got to see the XXX band!" (compliments of my wonderful job)
He asked how they were.
I babbled about the band and our impending bad weather (I AM READY FOR SPRING!! ENOUGH ALREADY!! NOBODY WANTS A WHITE EASTER - THERE ARE NO SONGS ABOUT WHITE EASTERS!!) and told him if he won ALOT of money he should give me some so I can go shopping.
Minimal response from H.
I texted I was off to bed and that he should wish me "sweet dreams".
H's final text "sweet dreams".
And that's that on the marital front.
I am not planning a shopping spree anytime soon
D18 surfaced a little sheepishly. Told me, AGAIN, how she's ready to start being responsible and "wants to start her life".
I told that was good news but that she would be doing it without the benefit of my car.
Off I go, into the wild fast food yonder.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Happy St. Pat's Day! I don't want a white Easter either! But I do remember as a little girl hunting for Easter Eggs in the snow one year.
I'm sure he didn't have a comment about winning a lot of money and giving you some for shopping. LOL! That floored him!
He really doesn't know what to say to you and that's why the small talk these days. He's trying to figure you out. LOL!
I'm glad your daughter resurfaced and wants to be responsible. How is she planning to do that w/o the benefit of your car? Did she share her plans w/you?
I do hope you have a pleasant day.
BTW, we are suppose to get a mixed bag of weather this evening, i.e., typical St. Pat's Day weather.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
