Bea, My xh never hit bottom and he's stuck. He is just floating along and didn't learn anything from his crisis and he hasn't healed. It's just another day and he continues to sweep issues under the carpet.
My xh's parents were the type to punish him and then let it go. My xh never learned to take responsibility for his actions and it was always the fault of others or if he was tasked to do something, he would ask couldn't his brother do it.
Funny you should mention the military. My xh was in the military for 4 years and he was assigned to the fire service area. Once he was discharged, he drifted from job to job for several years until he returned to the Federal fire service. During the entire time he was w/me, he never took responsibility for his actions, i.e., was always the other person's fault.
I can totally relate to your posting. As you xh and mine must be on the same raft floating on the stream.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
