It's been my experience that boundary "talks" are not very productive, but rather setting the boundary and enforcing it is. Be careful that the boundary is a "no-kidding" kind of boundary and it is only for YOU. You will be tested and it is important that you set it and realize the implications of having to enforce it. Choose carefully and choose your boundaries for you is my suggestion.
I wonder if he is acting out his Grandfather's behavior and trying on that "persona"? Maybe as a way of reconciling what he saw? It doesn't sound like that is his life so much as somebody else's? I wonder if it's an addiction as much as it is a need to figure these things out so he can internalize and reconcile them. One of his issues perhaps?
I don't think setting a boundary ahead of time will be as effective for you as would dealing with an issue when it occurs. A list of rules to live by may get lost, ya know?
I think you handled it last time very well. It came up. You gave it some thought and you dealt with it. I think that works well.
My $0.04 worth anyway.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
