Lost her love or MLC?

[Alias71]

Struggling badly to detach.

I just feel so angry towards my wife for her affair. I know that this goes in cycles and I just wish I could get rid of this feeling.

Some days are so easy and I feel that I could do "180" quite easily. Other days I just want to give up and accept that my marriage is over.

My wife is bored at home. All that she wants to be is elsewhere so now she's off at 1030 in the morning to the 70 year old guys place to "celebrate" St Patrick's Day although it isn't celebrated here. Just another excuse to be around guys (it appears that her great "friend", Vodka, will be turning up) and to drink with them.

I'm just venting. Just trying to get it off my chest. Just trying to feel a little better about things. Just trying to banish some of the negativity I feel.

I'm obsessing over my wife and I hate it. I look at my children and feel so sorry that my marriage is such a mess.

All the clever words and schemes just don't make an impact at the moment. I feel so incredibly alone. I know what I'm doing will probably push her away even more but it is so hard at present.

She stayed in after going out on Thursday and Friday but she got a call at 11 from somebody at, of course, she had a nice, long, cheery chat with the guy and then at 2am she received a text that had to be replied to, of course.

It's times like these that I hate my wife. I love her but hate her too. I don't want to be here with her but I fret if she is out for too long. I just feel as if I'm regressing. I try to pull myself out of it but I see her all dressed up to impress (and looking wonderful) and I feel so gutted that it isn't for me and is never for me these days. I have to fight these feelings until I'm back on the straight and narrow. At the moment I just feel like crawling into the corner of a room, locking the door and bawling my eyes out.

The kids are going back to school tomorrow after 2 weeks off and I'm absolutely dreading it. It's a nightmare scenario for me.

I've ready 5LL and I'm not convinced by it. I don't understand how someone can be categorised into 5 simple sections (even with dialects). I like the idea but it's too simplistic, surely? And on top of that it seems to run contrary to the ideas of DBing. Can they be done together or is it just one or the other?

Right, let's just get out there and try to get back on track.