I was wondering, do you know for sure that your husband sent thise messages to OWs X? I mean if this guy is really that unstable and desperate to end your H and his W affair, couldnt he fabricate this? Did you get a typed out message or a screen shot showing the message actually came from your H?
I need that sounds weird, but if this guy is following the tactics of a theory like marraigebuilders style, he will stop at nothing to break their R up, even if it involves lies and fabrication. You know that tactic is designed to make the affair as uncomfortable as possible, and having you feel hurt and angry increases the likelyhood that you blow up at your H.
Just a thought. Not sure how sure you are that he actually wrote those messages.
Keep your head up. Your husband would be lucky to have you, and that is the truth. He will realize it one way or another!
Dont feel bad for sleeping with him. That makes him the one who used you. Why cant you feel some power in that yiu perhaps used him! I know that sounds bad, but I mean you need some love too. I think women are quick to feel used by a man because of how society raises little girls to not 'give' themselves to a man unless he deserves it. But you can induoge in some selfishness right now, if you feel like it. You enjoyed it, and you had fun. He didnt use you, you didnt lower your self worth, you used him and raised your power in the R. I am no expert, just a regular guy giving his opinion. If you can project this mentality that he is a toy to you right now, and if he senses it, he will feel weak and lesser and will want to pursue to shift the power to himself.
The vets will probably have a field day with my comments, but im just saying how I would feel if I thought my wife was using me for sex. As a man I would want to turn the tables and that would involve a lot of my thoughts and probably divert me from OW. Men enjoy the power of knowing they can have you at any time. But if they sense you are just playing them, it becomes a challenge to change that.
Again, I am not expert. I tell it like I have seen it in my time in his world. And I see a hurting comrade, who feels down. Yiu have been there for me, and so I must be here for you. Yiu had some fun. Big deal. Just dont let him get used to it or it will stroke his ego too much. You take control of if and when he gets any!
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
