Need to let go

[littleGTO]

Thanks for posting on my thread, VeryGrateful, Floydman, PoN, Tori, and 2chiquitos!

What I've found out legally (or already know): 1) I will not get any alimony (as H actually makes a little less than I do); 2) I can probably keep out house until kids are 18 w/o paying H a cent until then; 3) I can probably get physical custody of kids w/o a problem; 4) H will have to pay up to 45% of his salary for child custody (3 boys); and 5) H hasn't got a clue about what's coming down the pike if he D's me!

PoN, my negativity is vented here on this forum. I do not show this toward H at all. In fact the one things I feel I have 180ed on best is NOT saying what's always on my mind before really processing what I want to say and how I want to say it. I am proud that I can really listen to H w/o responding negatively.

Oh, H will tell me if EA turns into PA. The one thing he HAS been is brutally honest about changes w OW. To the point where I don't want to hear some of the things he's said. A PA is also a deal breaker for him (at least that is what he's said). I really don't know how a man who thinks he's in love w OW can abstain for so long.... any thoughts?

I am quite sure "the niceness" from H comes from a R talk (he initiated) in Feb when I told him that if he "cares about me so much then why does he treat me like $hit?" At the time he told me he didn't want to send me mixed messages--that he thought I might misinterpret his niceness as a change in his feelings toward me/OW. I think he is trying out this "niceness" to see what happens--to see if we can be "friends."

I don't want to be friends w H. I can be friendly but not friends. It won't help me detach...this I know about me now. Maybe down the line- IDK.

Working on finances as H has made it clear he wants to divide up finances next month. I will make it clear what we (boys & I) need to live on. I already told him 1/2 his salary would be what we need. I'm not sure he liked that! Oh, well, it's the truth. We'll see how "friendly" this stays after finances get dividdy up.