Morning Occy01 - I am not an expert on helping her move, but here are my two cents fwiw. Yes, I would help, because it seems better to keep the R on a good note. I think the clean leaving of her then to set up her place is important though - a clean break - so that she has to deal with her choice. You can be friendly and the strong man (use those well-trained muscles!), but her choice is finally her choice and she has to deal with it.
She has regrets somewhere too - and maybe they will help you in the long run if you play your cards properly.
There must be other posts here that deal with this moving help business - recommend that you look around -
Did you see the comet? I think we could - more or less straight up from the moon -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Can Always Count on you for a reply!! Yes, i know in my heart that helping her is the right thing to do, as you said it keeps the R on a friendly base, and as I haven't mentioned anything yet, until I decide, I know she will be pleasantly surprised. And happy. Thats also a bonus.
Its just that it its going to be really really really hard to do.Not physically, but mentally ;-)
Haven't seen the comet yet... Thanks for the link.
Don't know if its against forum rules, and you don't have to answer, so i'll keep it general. Where in Sweden are you located.... North, east, west or south?
Going outside now to search the sky for lumps of rock....
M:39, W:35 T:12, M:3 (4y 2013.02.18) D:9 S:5 2 Dogs W says she wants D : 2013.01.18
Been an up and down day. W away buying stuff for her new place. D9 thinks its exciting. Understand, but it hurts. Also aware that D9 reaction is nothing to do with her love for me, just natural. New place, close to friends etc. S5 not himself lately. Very very sensitive. I think he thinks about this slot. Sometimes he just comes out with things, like... What are you going to do with the garden, where you were fixing a parking space for the mobilehome we erred going to buy? Ee won't be getting one now, will we? Its harder on him than he lets on. Approached W this evening on helping her move. She said she doesn't expect it. There are others helping too. I said I don't mind but I don't know if I can go in and look around. She said if I cant then there's no point in helping, if I can only driver stuff to the door and let others carry it in. Am I being unreasonable/childish?
M:39, W:35 T:12, M:3 (4y 2013.02.18) D:9 S:5 2 Dogs W says she wants D : 2013.01.18
//Am I being unreasonable/childish?// I think so. Only you know how you truly feel, but it sounds a little dramatic to me.
Be glad you didn't buy the motorhome. We did, now I have one to sell. And you are right, kids love camping and I know mine are really disappointed that family vacations are on hold for a while.
//Am I being unreasonable/childish?// I think so. Only you know how you truly feel, but it sounds a little dramatic to me.
Thanks RockJC. I guess I know this myself. When I wrote it and then read it, it was kind of obvious. Will help her move if she wants me to, will have a PMA, Will take a look at the house my Children Will be living in. I mean, what kind of father would i be, not even looking at my Childrens rooms, when they want to show me?
I guess this is really a 'no lose' situation. Help W, and build a friendly R with her.
M:39, W:35 T:12, M:3 (4y 2013.02.18) D:9 S:5 2 Dogs W says she wants D : 2013.01.18
I think reliability is a great virtue - though arguably boring - but I think something good to project and apply to your W and people in general. In the context of moving, it seems like helping is reliable, at least to the point that you can take it emotionally. I think loving your kids by helping them move and maybe set up their stuff may be the most important part - your wife's stuff is secondary, imo, but you (sorry to moralize, but I feel strongly on this) have an obligation to love and help your kids through thick and thin, and this moving is part of it.
Never saw the comet - did you?
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
I think loving your kids by helping them move and maybe set up their stuff may be the most important part - your wife's stuff is secondary, imo, but you (sorry to moralize, but I feel strongly on this) have an obligation to love and help your kids through thick and thin, and this moving is part of it.
Hit the nail on the head there Luke. It should and will be all about the children. I have to put aside my feelings about this, and do what I“ve posted I would do.... and thats be strong for my Children. Of course they will want to show me their rooms, and I will see them. Of course I will help move their things...
But another question....
Should I help W to decorate the childrens rooms??? Or is this going a bit too far?
Originally Posted By: LuckyLuke
Never saw the comet - did you?
Nope.. was out a few times, but didn“t get to see it.. [/quote]
M:39, W:35 T:12, M:3 (4y 2013.02.18) D:9 S:5 2 Dogs W says she wants D : 2013.01.18
