Help & Advice needed please Thread 2

[tryingtilDorR]

Intact -
I read through your thread going back to about early february before your father passed. You remind me of myself a few years ago. At that time, I knew my WAW was in another R. She was sleeping in another room in the house for about 18 months and during that time I was desperate to save our M. I was a wreck - hopefully you are holding up better but under the circumstances I have a feeling it is very hard for you.

I was hanging on her every word, trying to get inside her head and mind read. Finally she moved out and I immediately heard from someone who saw her around town with OM. Then I knew I wasn't going to wait any more. It was like God touched me on the shoulder and said "Its time to let go". So I did. It was all I had control over as far as the R at that time - to let it go and move on. I ended up filing for D about 3 weeks later (to her shock and suprise which I thoght was strange).

I see that she wanted to introduce OM to your son. That is very painful. That was one of the things I dreaded most in my situation but it turned out that my kids never liked her BF at all, and actually lost a lot of respect for their mother as a result (I had 2 teenagers at the time and 2 more 11 and 13). Just remeber that there are things you can't control and let the chips fall where they may.

My read on your situation is that you really need to let go. I realize she filed for D and put things on hold, which I am assuming is because of your father's passing? Or, do you think she is having second thoughts?

If its the latter, you should probably step in and drive the D process yourself so she doesn't leave you hanging. I felt much better once I was in control and driving the situation even though the thought of initiating D had been horrifying to me the prior 18 months before she moved out.