I think if your H started loving himself more, all these troubles would go away. Send him all the love you can, and maybe he'll start loving himself.
We talked about this way back in Wendy's earlier thread(s), and she did get some success when she followed this plan. BUT, I know how tiring it can be when the love seems to be only going one way.
Also, some of the issues our spouses are dealing with can only be fixed by them.
Dig deep for patience Wendy, continue to show him love, with no expectations. In the end he just may surprise you. That's the goal anyway.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
