I am doing okay, moving towards doing fine...it's not the end of the world, and even though I was "hoping" to not have to deal with a PA like most people do, I do. I remember seeing things that really made me think she was, but tankfully I didn't react/confront at the time. I think not knowing for sure helped me keep going and NOT show W a side of me that would have made her run harder, or cut it off before W's life lesson was learned, like in Phase 1... and it allowed her to reach her own limit or conclusions or whatever she had to get from the experience. As they say and I have read, it has to, and will, die a natural death sooner or later if they try to come out of the tunnel. I've walked the infidelity recovery path before, and this time I have "myself" back, due to my LBS journey, it should be smoother, and quicker.
Lots and lots of communication, mostly via email, but lots of talks initiated by her and it looks like, and feels like, things are moving forward pretty quickly for W. I am just being "me", compassion, patience, validating, while still letting out some of "my stuff" and my vulnerability, or being honest and telling her when I need a break or space (this is new, T needing "space"...lol!). I am really working hard on not re-generating our old R dynamics. It's going to be different.
Between work, kids, household life and W, I'm really overdone, and I apologize for not commenting more on people's threads. I do read all the posts, just don't have much left for contribution these days.
But I see, I think, a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't a train...expectations low, and I know there is a lot of work ahead, no quick fixes...and it "feels" different, W "looks" different (the face and eyes), if that makes sense...lol....
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
