Game Point 2

[Intact]

I was thinking back over the past 5 years and the amount of incredible pain I went through when I was dealing with my WAW. It made me want to log back in here to issue some words of encouragement to those who are suffering now.

I found great comfort from these threads, even though I didn't follow the advice really well but I did manage to have a better understanding of what was really going on.

But I still have no regrets. I did the best I could. Everyone knows I went above and beyond to save my M - my kids, both of our families, myself.

I got remarried last August and life is very good. My new wife lives here in our home we shared when I was married before. Ex W is not too happy about it, especially because her family, whom I am still very close to, helped me financially to keep the house. My 2 older kids are away at college now and my 2 younger ones seem to be adjusting reasonably well to my new wife and the divorce.

If my marriage to the mother of my kids had to end, then I couldn't have imagined a better 'new path' for my life than where I am now.

I want every one to realize that there is another life waiting out there for you if you ultimately cannot save your M. Do everything you can to save it for the sake of your family and the commitment you made, but know when it is time to truly let go and move on. In my case it was when she moved out of the house nearly 2 years ago. God helped me find that time when it was time to let go, and I never looked back really. It was like I put up a wall behind me and moved on.

WAW sure has looked back a lot, however. She wanted to try to R once I had already met my new wife and had moved on. To this day she regrets what she has done I am hearing from others.

However, she is a very shallow person I am finding. She made some comment recently to justify our divorce: "you are happy now with your new wife so you know we had problems with our relationship ..." and thus splitting up is justified, etc etc. My response, which I didn't say to her but was thinking, was "Yes, if I looked at everything completely selfishly I could say that I am better off, but the point is that we were a family and had children, and no matter what issues come up you need to work through them as best you can for the sake of your marriage and children, etc etc"

Her comment was very typical of her attitude the past several years - do what is best for YOU or at least what seems like what is best for you. I think she ultimately realizes that she did not do what was best for her. Her relationship with the guy she had an affair with has never moved forward. She sees him only in private and my kids want nothing to do with him. People tell me she is not happy with the guy and he is a control freak and a loser. I tried to point all this out when I was trying to convince her to change directions, but she wouldn't listen.

anyway, it is interesting to reflect back and see her after she drove off the cliff. It is kind of sad, actually. I feel sorry for her in a lot of ways.

Stay strong, and keep working on what you are told on these message boards. My only regret was that I didn't do enough of it or find a way to do it even though I wanted to. It is not always easy. I see posts from people doing the same stuff I did. Try to do something and then watch their reaction, but in the end they still know you are pursuing and begging.

This post is epic. Congratulations on your new M.

Really meant a lot to me reading this.