On December 10, 2012 i hurt my shoulder very bad and required surgery. Had surgery on Jsnuary 18, 2013. I have been on a bunch of painkillers for almost 3 months. Some of you may know that I am on probation for a 4th DUI. I have an addiction problem and am very active in AA. March 1, 2013 I asked my PO to see him. I have been very depressed lately with the divorce(12/12/12). I started feeling really wierd and believe it had alot to do with the painkillers. I asked my PO for help because i feel i was becoming addicted. His answer of help was to through me in jail and revoke my probation. He now wants me to go to prison. doesnt look like i'm going. there is a program for DUI people that is very intensive.
Needless to say, my evil X got with my PO and used everything i told him to file for full custody. I signed a temp agreement where i only have them every other weekend and wednesday nights for a few hours. I have never been this hurt in all my life. Now my son is telling me X is getting married. to OM that she was cheating on me with. He is still married btw..
I dont know what my problem is, but that hurts. I still love her and always will. It disgusts me that she would bring this man into their lives. He doesn't care about his own kids, much less mine. My heart hurts. My kids are so confused. I am confused. Nothing makes sense, and I just want my kids back so that I can be the rock that they need. I am going to teach my son how to be a man. Not this piece of garbage who is not even close to being a man.. Ugghhh.. the crazy thoughts that go through my head..
On the upside to this intensive program I am going to do is, they have alot of mental health help. I was told I suffer from severe depression and severe anxiety. Not sure what all that means, but I'm sure I will find out.
Sorry, just kind of had to get all this out I guess..
