When I got into a mood I find it so hard to back away. My wife says nothing and I just keep on saying things (some mean, some not so) just to try to provoke a reaction. I know that I shouldn't and that it's counterproductive but I find it so hard to resist.
She has started going around this 70 odd year old guys home. For some bizarre reason she stated that she had told him that she wouldn't go around his home again. I've no idea what brought that up. Certainly nothing I said. Anyhow she's around his house now. She says that she goes around there because he's lonely. I tell her that I'm lonely but it has no effect. She just doesn't want to be around me and the children. Anywhere else but here.
The only good thing that has come out of this is that I feel like crap and before I went on the rant I had a PMA. Lesson learnt although I feel I've put another nail in the coffin of my marriage.
At times I feel so strong and at other times I feel so pathetic. I just have to read and re-read all the positive and useful remarks given to me and to others. They've kept me in good stead over the last few days and weeks and it's the only way to get through this storm that my wife is putting my family through. (And the remember that there are many, many poor blighters who are in a worse condition than myself. My wife, if she is to be believed, doesn't want to separate now. I suppose I am useful to her especially as a babysitter.)
I just wish that it would warm up and for the snow to disappear. Where the hell is Spring?????
Me: 42 W: 40 M: 18 T: 20 D13 D10 S7 BD: 8/2012 Still living together
