W found out today that she did not get the new job she interviewed for. As much as I was concerned that she may leave if she got the job, I was really down when W told me she didn't get it. She was obviously upset about it.
I know to not pursue but I did go over and give her a hug and tell her that I was sorry she didn't get it.
She had had several days in a row where her mood seemed to be much better. I hate that this may bring her down some and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. That was one of my problems.... I try to "fix" things. So now I guess sorry will have to do.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
I know to not pursue but I did go over and give her a hug and tell her that I was sorry she didn't get it.
She had had several days in a row where her mood seemed to be much better. I hate that this may bring her down some and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. That was one of my problems.... I try to "fix" things. So now I guess sorry will have to do.
I think you did ok with the sorry and hug. The job was obviously important for her and you showed you cared.
Try not to think about what mood this will get her in. That is out of your control.
Glad to hear about you/W having a good time at the concert!
Grizz, You did fine. Next step is to now not do anything stupid (I speak from experience). If she's in a mood just ignore it You know it's not about you. Emphasize with her and validate her feelings but that's it. If you feel like she's getting to you get out and go for a walk, GAL, etc. No fighting and no matter what don't try to fix anything or give any type of advice. Just listen if she wants to talk.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Guys, thanks for all of the comments. W has actually handled this much better than I anticipated. Maybe it has had something to do with my PMA, maybe not. But, I have done a really good job with PMA since the bad news.
I took D4 out today and taught her how to skip rocks in the creek. We had a blast! GAL!
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
This has been a wierd past few days. W and I have been getting along extremely well. She has been more talkative with more eye contact since BD. She sat in the same room with me to watch TV ( this doesn't happen). So what's the problem?
First, it makes it extremely hard to detach when she is acting like this. It is easier to detach when I am not around her so much. She has gone out of her way to talk to me this weekend.
Powerofnow challenged me to not post about W for a week..... Guess I failed. Just her change in attitude has me even more confused.
Now the worst part....Mind reading. I walked downstairs and W was on the computer. As I turned the corner she couldn't get her screen/browser closed fast enough. Me being stupid and thinking that things may be a little better with her change in attitude has now gotten to me. Now I don't think things are any different at all.
Mind reading Expectations Not detaching
ALL BAD!
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
So actively try to give her space on the computer, if possible: out of sight and out of mind, as it were. Nice that she is more communicative, though, isn't it?
Get out of the house and get your head in a different place. Detach by at least not being there.
Go watch a movie and let someone else's story fill your head, at least for a while.
Good luck -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
