Tori coming by to offer my support and love. I can see wanting to be non- adversial --- especially after all of the emotional trauma you have been through. Just don't give up what you are entitled to either. Is good you are taking time to think about it.
Xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
"He's really good at lying. Is he hiding something? My gut tells me he's not, but I've been tricked before."
Tori, read your words above. $10,000 a year is a lot of money and will help you in your life, going forward. If you are entitled to it, legally, and it were me that had to pay it to you, I would gladly come and clean up your yard if it would help guilt you out of it, especially, if my threats to take you to trial weren't working.
I think he's bluffing. Protect yourself.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Thank you, GTO, Busting and SS. I had a restless night, waking up and thinking about all of this.
I feel very uncomfortable giving up 100% of my rights to this money, so I'll say this to my H and try to come up with a compromise.
Also, I had a really weird dream about a woman coming into my living room. I asked her who she was and she only smiled. I asked her to leave, so she did. And there was a guy waiting for her in a car. I thought the guy was my H, but when I looked closer, it wasn't. I looked into the guy's eyes and he also smiled. But it was like a creepy smile. I yelled, "I have your license plate!" He nodded and drove off. When I got up, I jotted down the numbers and letters of the plate that I remembered, and googled them. The top two search results were weird: one was the securities exchange commission (could this be related to the money I'm giving up on?) and the second one was Chaitanya Bhagavata, which leads me to the ancient Indian scriptures. SO WEIRD.
I was also riled up bc I saw that my H added the woman he's seeing to his LinkedIn account. I'm his business contact, so that's why I saw the update. She is a Children's books librarian. As much as I'm working on detachment, this upset me. I feel he is disrespecting me. Can he just keep his antics private until we get D??? I'm not asking for much.
I second what the others are saying. He could easily be trying to appeal to your desire for things to be non-adversarial. I'm not sure I trust him to have your best interests at heart.
Take your time and look after yourself.
Big hug
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
I don't think he has my interests at heart at all...That's very clear. When I spoke with him today (90 min call) he refused to accept the language about the support--even though my L said this language was already too giving and he didn't recommend it. He wanted to add all sorts of limits and conditions to the support. So I did it bc when I tried to explain that this wasn't what the law said, he said he was going to trial. He was behaving like a bully. After I agreed to add the wording he wanted, he seemed to calm down some.
I agreed to trade in some of the furniture for the xtra annual amount I was talking about, but it's a small percentage.
I don't know. Going to trial will cost 10K more and a lot more time. I want this to end. He's going away with that woman this weekend, spending our money on her. If we drag this along, he'll continue spending it all. I thought about scheduling another meeting with my L next week. He'll tell me I'm making a big mistake. I want peace. Don't want to go to court. I wonder if the L just wants to make more money and the financial outcome won't be much different.
I know it's my decision, but it's a tough one. I might regret being so giving when he doesn't even appreciate it. He thinks he's being generous. Ha! I always thought he was smart, but he isn't. He's good with numbers but he's very close minded, and always thinks he knows it all and he's right. Funny that he always criticized me for being "inflexible." This was a reflection of his own self...
Wow, Tori, YOu have a lot to think about concerning the D. That is A LOT of extra money to go to trial AND the time/negative energy/grief that it will bring you...IDK. Take your time and do what's best for you in the long run!
(((((luv ya!)))))
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Hey, all. I decided to make an appointment with another L to get a second opinion. If this L also says I'm making a mistake, I'll have to go the adversarial way. If he says the agreement is close to fair, I'll settle. I'm going tomorrow... Wish me luck.
