Need to let go

[littleGTO]

PoN, I'm going to be a bit defensive about your remark, "Are you ready yet?" b/c I have been working on myself since BEFORE (last SPring) first BD-180s that have been noticed, that have become part of the new me.

I have taken notes about H's indications of what went wrong according to him and have really made changes where possible.

I GAL w old friends, and some friends from my past I haven't seen in years, and now am starting to get out (well, once) and meet some new friends.

I guess researching D laws is helpful to me to be informed of what my rights my be should it come to this.

Tori, I think you are right about WAS's being blind to what love really is. There are definitely STAGES of love. New/Infatuation love is just that. Deep commited love is what you have when you come to accept a person for both the good and bad...and you love them even more.

When there is an OP in the picture the LBS is powerless to have influence over his/her S b/c he/she thinks they are really "in love" with this OP when it is just infatuation....not based in reality at all.

I can't compete w someone who remains "perfect" in H's eyes, b/c he has not seen her flaws, that she is imperfect and in fact, carries a good deal of negative "baggage" with her. And, she has not seen him for all who he is.

Time will tell. I just don't know if I want to wait for this to play out. I have this (new) awful feeling that H will drag this EA out for a very very long time. I thought it would become a PA by now (and yes, I am quite sure it hasn't). I can only speculate as to why they are waiting to "be together/date."

But, on some level, it just feels to me like the worst has already happened--he is "in love" and is "not willing to let his feelings change." To me a PA would only seal the deal.

BTW- His niceness continues...it really has me wondering. He even complimented me about what a good job I'm doing "all by myself" with the boys in front of them tonight. It was nice, but WEIRD to hear from him. I just said ,"thank you." Not reading into it any more than a nice comment.