Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

When someone decides they no longer want to be married, it's an extremely emotional and confusing thing. They are unhappy, so they start trying to find happiness somewhere, and often make bad decisions because of it. When they start to feel connected to you, or happy with you, they try to piss you off so they can be reminded of what an ass you are and justify their choices.

BD, you are right on that and I see that from reading all of your stich you have put in so much time and as a result you have become a better person and able to identify your own issues and have been working on them.

Our stiches are similar in a way. Except mine is not as much of a roller coaster ride as yours has been since there is no touchy touchy LOL. If you would look back and say a few things you would do differently during DBing, what would they be? Would you have done Plan B earlier? I am afraid I might be very resentful if I stay too long or feel like I spent too much time worrying about the M and not about myself and my own feelings.

Also, I took some of the online surveys we talked about the other day. The judgmental and controlling. It said I am judgmental (low grade but still) but that I am not controlling. Which I have to take it with a grain of salt since I know I have been controlling when the reality of losing W 2X4ed me on the face. I have honestly stopped asking her anything where she would take it to be controlling. So now in turn, when I am out with my friends, she asks me where I was. I will continue to work on not controlling but I still do believe communication of where a bout with two married people shouldn't be looked at being controlling. But that’s for a normal M and this is not a normal M.

I want to also thank you for using this form to journal and the back and forth with Mach1. It has really made me deeply think about a lot of thing. As soon as I think I have it all figured out, it is just the first layer. Hope all will work for you as I feel like I have seen you become a better person who in the end will be happy with or without W. Rooting for WITH for you