I had lunch this afternoon to discuss W's living situation and hopefully put her at ease. I assured her that I was not going to chase her off with a torch and an angry mobb in the middle of the night. We had nice conversation, very friendly like.
During our conversation the topic of "dating" came up. We started off light hearted and jokingly, but then I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said NO. Then I asked her if she has been talking to anyone. She turned BEET RED and a vein stuck out in the middle of her forehead. She replied that she has been talking with someone, but only just rececently. I played it off by saying, "no big deal. If we are going to continue as friends we should be sharing". She did not wish to hear if I had been talking or dating, but did ask about a girl she say posting on my FB. She stalked her page, so I know she was searching for information about a possible OW. There isn't one. Anyway, we ended lunch on a good note and went about our business.
Later in the afternoon She started "the texts". Her first one went like this:
So I am curious. At this point of where we are at, are you ok with me dating?
My reply:
Sure...I mean if you think that is what you want to do. I mean, you know how I feel in regards to giving us time to heal and build a new relationship....but I'm supportive of whatever you think is best for you and (Daughter.
I would like us to be open about it. I would prefer it not to be a secret that I find out about by word of mouth. I would like to hear it from you. I will show you the same respect...and I want to be clear that there would be no other opertunitues for our marriage and our realtionship would have to change.
As soon as i sent this reply, I realized I gave her an ultimatum. Probably not the way I should have worded it, but it is the way I feel. We went back and forth reitterating pretty much the same messages. I told her over and over again that I supported whatever she thought was the best for her and D. We jokes a few times about giving each other dating advice. At one point she said, "It is really weird to have you affirm my feelings. I am not used to it. It seems scripted I joking said, thats because I am reading it from a self help book, silly! She laughed and said she was sorry. it just isn't something she is used to. the conversation closed about some D stuff. She is doing terrible in school and really struggling. We are talking about putting her into counseling. Wife now sees that this separation is affecting her, but still will not acknowledge to what degree.
