what role do you believe you played in this? And if you say "none" then that is too bad b/c it means you are utterly powerless...
luckily nearly all of us CAN and SHOULD CHANGE things in ourselves, so now is your chance to do some real growing.
What are your core 180s? Not the superficial changes, but the biggies?
She said you were critical...and I think you conceded that. Well, that's not a small flaw. It's a big drag to be around. It's negative and it [censored
out peoples' self esteem a lot...especially a woman who felt the need to have had plastic surgery...did you ask her to do that or what was your attitude with it? No judgement here, just digging and speaking of which
you have to dig a lot deeper to figure out how YOU are going to become a man only a fool would leave.
I have been doing Sandie's list of 37 things. Additionally, for 180's I have avoided any complaints about minor, trival things. I think this has changed the dynamics in our relationship. I am also non-judgmental about bigger thigs. For example, three weeks ago my wife was on a business trip and left her pocketbook in the cafeteria. When she returned it was gone. All her money, ID, and etc was stolen. What a hassle. When she told me, I just commiserated with her. In the past, I probably would have criticised her too.
I have tried to be more dominant in the family in terms of deciding what to do, etc. I've done some things for the kids that she normally has done (and basically has stopped doing). I did the Christmas shopping for example.
I have done more in terms of GAL. I have started flying lessons -- something I always was interested in but thought I didn't have time or it was too expensive. (Well that's a 180 for me because I normally worry about money). I changed my casual wardrobe, I've done a lot on appearance too.
I like your advice and think all of these have helped the situation.
