Need to let go

[littleGTO]

Thanks, ruby. I know what you meant.

I appreciate all the feedback about this. I understand everyone's POV about this. BUt, what is done is done.

PoN, my H didn't fall out of love w me in a month, so I'm guessing it would take a long time for him to fall back in love w me too. I'm sure the kids would warm up to the idea well! But, the truth is I don't think this is going to happen.

Tori, I agree S14 is internalizing...the bubble is his protection from the world and he is in a very selfish early-teenage stage. I am definitely not oblivious to his reaction. In fact in some ways he worries me the most out of the 3 boys!

The past 2 days of brief interactions w H have been interesting. He has been as friendly as he ever has since BD, I have to say. I am very suspicious about why, but really am not going to let myself go into the crazy world of trying to mind read and figure it out.

I have to admit I am starting to do research about D in my state. Maybe b/c I feel it is inevitable. Maybe I feel there is just no other way this is going to play out. I am certainly NOT initiating anything (& am still wanting to save my M), but want to be prepared a little for when H drops the D bomb.

Since he has never said to me, "I want a D." I figure when he does that he is done, completely done.

Sorry for my negativety today, but I am in a bit of a funk. Not feeling well (physically or emotionally). Tomorrow is a new day!