Val I do understand that it could go a long way in showing H trust in him...but I am not willing to put that before the needs of my S even if it might save my marriage.
I'm not saying that at all. You are only seeing a piece and not the puzzle. If you read my threads or advice to others - I do not advocate saving marriage at all costs.
I advocate loving decisions at all costs.... and encourage folks to dig really deep for them.. because in this situation - we can very easily talk ourselves into thinking we are doing loving things... when in actuality they are motivated by other things.
Originally Posted By: findingself
"And I must say trying to wean a child on your own with all the stress in my life along with S's right now with not having H around and with me trying to hold it together hour to hour is not good timing for weaning..
Sayings like ^^^ is about YOU. I know that H isn't around in the way you want - but at the same time you aren't budging either by saying S isn't ready to be away from you.
Do you recognize how you contribute to this dynamic?
Originally Posted By: findingself
There is no predetermined time to stop breastfeeding as there never was it was always what was best for S, typically in my family it is from 20-24 months.
Yah - but life happens and we need to adjust and we need to understand when it's time to adjust because of the situations you are put in. Sometimes the risk and the sacrifice made today will help solidify the end goal (and if you think I'm saying reconciling, you'd be wrong)
Originally Posted By: reb
The mom starts that commitment of feeding the baby and the dad doesn't have that same connection and of course it wouldn't matter to him if she continues.
He may not understand but to say it doesn't matter is mindreading and not helpful.
I'll wrap this up because I don't want to beat a dead horse. It doesn't matter to me what you decide or to say what is right...... I have my opinion and that's all fine and good.
... I'm just trying to help you see that even though you have a good intention... it is also surrounding by lots of selfish intentions....
... and that is something YOU wanted to work on and felt was a problem in your marriage.
Even if you're mind is set - how you approach it could be a 180 for you. Yet I don't see you working on it.
I don't see you asking us how you can lovingly communicate with your H about S. How you can shed your self intentions away from the good ones.
That's the 180's I'm talking about here... but maybe next time I can be a little bit more clear from the beginning.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
