Mana Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

[Tallula]

Again, showing great strength, courage and maturity. He has to realize, if even on a subconscious level, that you are growing as a person, and soon may well outgrow him. That may also give him some pause to think about his actions. Just a few of the questions you might consider are (mostly a rhetorical list since I'm sure you've already thought of these):

• would you take him back? [/color] I don't know right now. Today, I lean towards no. Because of his behavior TODAY.
• under what conditions would you take him back?
  [color:#000099] Complete transparency, defriend OW, ask for work to give us phone records monthly. A complete change of his crazy True and honest remorse. An understanding of just how insanely hurtful and devastating this was to me.
• what boundaries would you set?
  [/color] No woman friends, the above. When ML, using protection until I feel comfortable with his fidelity.
• what are the ramifications if the boundaries are broken?
  [color:#000099] Divorce. He knows that, which is why he wouldn't agree to the boundaries and we separated. He said he is scared he will keep doing it and he knows another strike if we are piecing and I'm gone.
• what level of transparency must he meet?
  [/color] See above
• what are you prepared to do if he refuses?

[color:#000099]Well, the reason we are separated if because I told him transparancy or separation. I have no idea how long I will stand. But not indefinately. So, I am very willing to divorce my H. These things are deal breakers for me.

And really, all of the above is necessary for him to be willing to do to prove that he deserves YOU as his wife.

Really, you're strength and resolve is an inspiration!!

Thank you Blake. I have obviously thought about all this at length. I will continue to focus on me. He either does work on himself, or not. Time will tell.