Tallula I just don't know what else to say except again, wow. Again, your clarity of mind and the way you can respond with such calm is inspiring to me.
And to second SS, thank you Labug and Tallula for this:
"Labug, I really like that. I had so become a "WIN AT ALL COSTS" communicator. If H got some silly detail incorrect I would HAVE to comment about it. "No, it was tuesday, not wednesday."
I too am/was guilty....
I appreciate that, busting. When I'm in spin mode it's hard to feel any clarity, but then I realize that I have no intention of acting on it and I go...OMG, I have changed!! OMG it will pass. And H, man he is nuts. After the text about us seeing a lawyer, then the you are amazing, he sent "I think I'm going insane." Yeah, I agree. It's hard to watch. He is so full of fear, and just plain nuts. I have never seen this in our 13 years together. I've watched this man get sober, bury his abusive father who committed suicide, take care of his alcoholic mother who then died, all before the age of 30. But I've never seen him cry. I think all of these things are bubbling up, and his way of dealing with everything was living this double life.
So, yea, my method of "discussion" was ridiculous. H "So, I was really hurt tuesday when you said you would be home at 5...I interupt "It was wednesday." H "Whatever, when you said that you would be done with your instructing at 5 ...interupting "It was wednesay and I told you I was going to run errands." H "OMG!! Let me finish, I was hurt that you snipped at me that I didn't read your text. I don't care when or where or what time!!!!" Me "I'm sorry, it just seems like you never read all of a text. Well, it was tuesday and I told you..."
:face palm:
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
