Mana Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

[Tallula]

Well, he had messaged a bit more. And now...I'm spinning. He spoke of his guilt of knowing and not telling me and how he had seen me walk out of a meeting and called OW and how my H and she were freaked out he would tell me.

I'm not going to tell H that he contacted me. It would just do nothing but bad things. Plus, it's just something he and OW can bond over. I know he is "trying" not to contact her, so this would be an excuse. And then I'm like...why do I care if he contacts her!! They deserve each other, those selfish jerks!! Is the only reason he told me because her H was going to out them? Or was this because he didn't want me to know who she was. He never told me that. I only found out when I went through his phone.

Of course, it doesn't matter why. I'm just mad that she is occupying space in my head. I'm mad. I'm hurt. I'm remembering. I hate this. I hate this. I hate him!! I hate her!! And when I get really honest with myself, I don't want them to end up together. Why? Because then this stupid chick..wins. What does she win? A cheater. But...she. Wins.

So silly of me. But, if I'm honest, it's the truth.