So close I can taste it...

[SM34]

25 and Gabbysmom I agree with what you said witb a few exceptions that are small details like the number of times we made love ML. I believe I have said all along that jt was ATLEAST once a week but usually twice. In any case those details are not so important right now. What I meant by I dont think even that was the problem, is that I think wife said it frequency was an issue, but mostly the hints she through was that it. Wasnt passionate enough. Perbaps it was both or a combo of sorts.

I didnt mean I need to read up on father figure to see if it fits me. You have all made that quite clear that the way I treat her is fatherly. My research was going to be how to change that, how to change myself to that person that I should be. See, this is the first time I have really thought about this aspect of me. I toom it as babying her, I mean that in a nice way like pampering, but I see now it is detrimental to a M.

An interesting point is that a while back I asked if doing too much for your wife to really make her life easier was a turn off for women. It was a discussion on [*] website and also fits the sex rank theory of red pill etc.. so I was attacked for trying to look at too many conflicting approaches. But now I see that I was on the right lines as to what the problem is, but you all have mad it clearer. So those theories from those two sites I mentioned are pretty much the same concept as being fatherly right? They are just not presented in a way that is from a place of love like we all prefer here. They are kind of chovanistic and sexist. In any case, how can I begin to change that behavior?

What kind of other behaviors might I be doing that are fatherly? Like by not pushing my wife to get a job, even though we could use the money, am I being loving? Or fatherly? Another reason I wanted to read up on this concept. Because I have no idea what other behaviors other than the ones you all pointed out to me, may also fit under this umbrella.

I will stop confiding in MIL. She is a sweet person who really wants us to stay together. She has had a tough life and perhaps she just wants the path of least resistance for her daughter, but she does also believe my wife and I could use some delationship tools and make each other happier than either one of couod imagine. But you are all righ. Enough is enough. I dont want wife to ever find out and feek we ganged up on her. Im still holding out for a loving, uncoerced decision to return to our marriage.

So help me! How do I purge this fatherly thing? How can I do that? An suggestions or things to practice? I need to understand all the ways that I am doing that, so I can recognize when I ak doing it. It may seem obvious to all of you, but to me its not so obvious.

Thanks for the help everyone!