Based on all the stories I've read, the kids always resent the cheating/leaving spouse for breaking up their family, and not because of anything Mom or Dad did or didn't tell them.
They seem able to figure out who's to blame just fine by watching.
You did, and will continue to, tell them their Daddy will always love them. Don't second guess yourself for having this conversation now. If H didn't cheat/leave, you wouldn't be in this spot in the first place. This peanut thinks you did fine!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
