The hurt and disappointment is what makes this so hard. If I could truly detach, I am not even sure I would mind "limbo" so much. The real truth is that the more clearly I see the situation, the less likely I am going to detach. I will walk away. So tired of hurting and of the non-progress and of my stomache bunching up when I am sure he is lying to me but I cannot prove it. Is some of this my pride? No doubt.
B, you asked whether or not we've ever had a long period of no contact. Thinking back, we really haven't. The longest may have been about a week. I was the pursuer after BD (prior to reading DR) but after that, I managed to control myself fairly well and since then have not initiated much contact. BUT, he is starting to go longer and longer without contacting me (which is why I suspect the GF is back in the picture).
After my parent passed away, he called every day for a week. Then he fell back into the every 3-4 day pattern.
Is it funny that the more he makes an effort to tell me his plans or whereabouts (i.e. saw your text before passing out last night, the more I suspect that he is lying?
My goal is to work toward detaching. I really want to be able to not care whether or not he calls. Living long distance, it is our phone connection which is the last to go. He has not brought up my visit and neither have I. I woke up just a little more when he rejected my company on my upcoming birthday. If I can stop being disappointed, I can heal better. So much easier said than done.
I feel we are moving further apart rather than even standing still. At least in the fall he wanted to see me, now it does not even appear that he wants to see me at all.
You know, I actually was having a good day. I am off on a bit of an adventure and enjoying it. What made a little reflective was that this is something that I would have loved to share with him - there was (and is) no other person with who was such fun to share things with. I miss that. Not that he would not respond - eventually - if I sent a text like the old days, but just knowing that he does not care if he hears from me or not stops me from sending anything.
