GTO, lots of opinions and advice. I think it's good the kids know the truth but it would be best if your H was present when you have these conversations. I think the kids might hold resentment toward their father if they see him as the only one at fault. And yes, he was the one to abandon you guys, but you want the kids to continue looking up to him. So next time, I would include him. I'm not a mother, but I can imagine what it would be like to be told my dad left me bc he doesn't love my mom (which I would take it as "he doesn't love me either.") Just my thoughts. Honesty, though, is critical. So keep doing that.
