So close I can taste it...

[SM34]

Thats a new one! Now I am bi polar? Thats a new one.

Dud you read the whole post that you picked that line from? I spent a big portion of that post accepting fault for not showing my wife she was loved, needed, attractive etc... I screwed up! I said that! I didnt make my wife feel good about herself.

I can assure you I am not bi polar. Never had a manic episode in my life. Never had any compulsive behavior.

This is kind of why its so frustrating sometimes on here. I admit I scewed up, and I admit ir hurts to know your wife needed reassurance of how sexy she is, and then got rhat from someone else. That is HUGE for a woman! And its enough to not be happy in a relationship.

There is no nees for us to find more problems in my marriage. I am trying ro illustrate rhat but inevitably there always has to be something else.

All I can say is go back and read my post again. I admir plenty of fault. I cab also assure you that I am in excellent mental health. Part of what helped my marriage last so long is how willing I am to accept fault when issues arise in our marriage, even when I believed my wife was at fault. You know the mantra 'do you want to be right, or do you want tk be marrried?'. That was my life even without knowing it. Actually I have now learned that perhaps part of the issue is that I am not always honest with my wife about issues I may have with something she says or does. I have essentially been a father to her. I thought it was good to always say hey baby its my fault, I am si sorry for upsetting you, just so we can move on. In doing so, I may have built up some resentfulness that contributed to my lack of showing her how special she is.

I can assure you I am not bi polar...at all. But after suggestions that I am self centered, awkward, have difficulty with social cues, may have aspergers, might be arrogant, and now bi polar, nothing surprises me anymore lol. I guess I could be all of that and not know it.

In my next post, I will let my alter ego have a chance lol. Just kidding.

No for real, thank you for reading my post and offering your take on it. You are right that I need to focus on me for a while. I really need to.

So, what I would like to do js explore this father figure concept. I had said in a post several months ago that I had 'babied' my wife and was told I lacked respect for her. At the time I wasnt sure why I was being told that, but now I see that maybe I mis worded it. Perhaps what was happening is that I was acting like a father. How do I investigate that. I wknder if there I can take an online quiz or something to see if I have an issue with trying to be a father like spouse. How would I work on that or investigate that? I mean the idea is a little foreign so perhaps I need to just read up on what kind of behavior would fall under that classificatiom.