Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

It has been a really stressful day. Life at work sacks and might not be able to meet deadline. Life at home sacks and I keep backsliding. I go to work and feel like crap then to MC feel like crap then back to work and feel like crap.

W and I had MC today and like I have said before, every we are in there she feels guilty that she is causing so much of the problem and that she is not able to bring herself to fix it or want to fix it she cries. Today even when I validate her feelings of rejection from the past. I messed up and try to relate to her feeling of how I have felt rejected in the past and can imagine how she felt. The MC heard it me trying to empathize with her and she saw it as me trying to attack her or make her hurt less. That was not my point or intentions. So when I don’t say anything and just listen, she says that I just sit there and watch her cry which makes her feel humiliated. When I say something to validate she says she feels like I am not empathic but feels I have pity for her. I feel like there is nothing I do or say where it is accepted. I told W and MC that I feel like there is nothing I do right. And that’s where the MC said this isn’t working well and suggested we either see her individually so we are not feeling pressured by the other person being there as well as talking to our IC, stop MC until we have more time with IC to work on self, or let W’s ICer come to our MC for support. We agreed on her talking to our IC and also meeting each other separately.

I can see how W feels bad because she is not able to let anything good I say into her system and she is not accepting it. She said “this relationship is not good for me or you”. I am lost into what to do. I am able to listen to her or other people better and I can see how that is working with other people but with W, she is blocked off. And I haven’t let that bother me that much as I have read so many posts that they can “check out” so what I am to do? I will continue to do me and keep on improving myself. I am worried that I or her might push her off to really asking for a S or D.

Any insight or what I should talk to the MC individually would be helpful. I know the MC did say that she will not keep a secret for her and if we tell her a secret, she will encourage us to talk about it and drive the conversation more to that. I don’t know if I should bring up OM and my thoughts of why W is so checked out. Is that a something to bring up?