Another dollar in my one-man show

[25yearsmlc]

Your wife did not break the family Bruce. You broke the family by not being there for them. By neglecting your son and your wife.

Now I'm done.

I don't believe this. Most of us on here have made some awful mistakes but every human is capable of that. There are plenty of things I wish I had done or didn't do etc.

I'm much like MWD where I don't believe divorce is an acceptable solution to marital problems (within reason of course).



If you "don't believe this" it's probably b/c you have not read the whole thread...as we all have. I've followed Bruce since about day 1.

AND as MWD says, marriages ought to stay together, "within reason of course" -that is KEY HERE.


You really really need to read his whole thread, as I have, to speak to this.

I began to list the things he did & did not do, for you to know why we are ALL saying what we are ALL saying (which is very unusual)

but it's literally too time consuming.

I support marriages as best I can, obviously. But this man, Bruce, at least in how he writes, has changed less than anyone I know, or he's changed for the worse, and my words have done nothing to help him in any meaningful way. So maybe YOU can get through to him but it won't be by coddling and enabling and letting him see himself STILL as a victim.

...don't project your situation onto him. I've written and spent dozens of hours writing to him and researching for him and trying to empathize AND help him to empathize with his wife but he's unable to do that.

WHICH it think is the core of love for someone. If you literally cannot empathize, with your spouse, you have a serious problem saying you "love" them.

I've tried HARD to show him the truth about his role in things but he can only hold onto to the truth for minutes before the truth is too painful for him. So he reverts. Repeatedly, which is very frustrating for those of us who have been trying for weeks to help him.

I regret that I cannnot reach him. But when you jump in and blurt out things that go against all that you are reading, surely it must occur to you that you might want to know more...first?



The fact is, he's here, fighting for his marriage. In my mind that's something to be very proud of.

"The fact is"--- He's not fighting FOR his marriage. I WISH!

He's fighting his wife over money & time with his son. He's willing to trade time with his son for money. Always has been willing to use his son as a pawn to get her to come back. He wants to WIN. BTW---


Last week he said he wanted to abandon her and his son to live in Africa, so he would not have to pay a cent, and he could just start over and have a new family.

Today he criticized some of the younger musicians he plays with, for not being real Christians...I see hypocrisy & false pride. I see someone who wants to take splinters out of others eyes and ignore the plank in his own.

But of course, that abandonment plan was last week's...and he intimated that is STILL his plan B, for when June rolls around...til then, HE's decided he'll obey the law.

After that, who knows? No, I'm afraid I don't call that fighting for his marriage.

I call that blaming, manipulating, controlling, whining, and STUBBORNLY repeatedly, playing the victim card. It's the most consistent behavior of his, and trying to control his wife. Even the IC he saw said he cannot control her, and that "disappointed" him...even now.

And to put it as gently as possible, I see a man who needs emotional and spiritual help, badly. At one point here, we ALL did. So there's no shame in it.

But his pride will keep him from getting that help. For that, he may lose all that matters to him...that's very sad for me.