A few nights before my wife went on her trip, she went to the gym as usual, but didn't come home right away -- instead, my guess is she went out for drinks with her gym buddies for about 1-hour.
When she returned home, I was watching TV. I purposely didn't ask her where she was. I said hi, but kept watching TV. It's tough to hide what I'm really felling from her; afterall, we've been married for 20 years. I was sad.
In the morning, she asked me what was wrong? The first time, I said, "nothing." She then asked if I was angry with her? and finally I said, "no, I'm not angry, I was just disappointed in her."
Well that afternoon I get an email from her that she was having a hellish day, was sorry she disappointed me, and that she has no friends to talk intimately about her problems with. She also wrote that "she is happy that I'm on a mission to rebuild my life" etc. So I know that she sees the GAL and 180's that I've been doing. However, she also interprets it as me "moving away from her."
Then when she was away on her trip, I got more emails where she said she doesn't love anyone right now, that she needs to go out, and if I don't like it she can move out, but then she also mentioned she is "on a path back to me"
After about the 4th email, I didn't respond to her because in every email in order to justify her actions she said something to the effect that she hasn't loved me for a long time, that divorce was always in the back of her mind, etc. It just got me down, so I didn't respond. So she called me early in the morning and got me just as I was arriving to work. I didn't feel like talking to her, so I must have seemed a little distant, and I ended the conversation after about 5 minutes.
About half an hour later, I decided to call her and explain that I didn't feel like talking at the time, but I now do. So we spoke for about 45 minutes, mostly about non-relationship stuff. Later that night she called again, and apologized and told me that "things will be OK"
I guess this is what people mean when they say it is a rollercoaster.
