T, I'm glad she finally broached the subject w/you. This was weighing heavily on her mind for a long time and she has finally reached the stage whereby she felt safe in disclosing the info to you. God has a way of working miracles and because she had to have the gyn panel done, she knew she had to finally come "clean" and share some of what had happened.
From your posting, you had mentioned thinking about going out and having your own fling. I know you were just "thinking" about it as a knee jerk reaction, but, keep in mind, two wrongs do not make a right. Had you reacted any differently than what you have thus far, she would have been convinced that the marriage was over. T, the time for healing has begun. The ugly truth has been revealed and now you and your wife must find a way to heal the "rift" that her mlc addition has created.
I know her actions have sent you into a tailspin, but you can't judge her as that is not your role in life. Your role in life is to foregive her and show her unconditional love. We are all human and we are all prone to make mistakes. Your wife will learn from her mistakes and come to see that you and your relationship are the most precious gems in her tiara. The guilt of what she's done will continue to eat at her and that is enough punishment for her to deal with at this time.
Her affair was not about you, it was about something that was missing within her. So, do yourself a favor and rein in your ego. If it had been about you, your wife would have been long gone and trust me, she knows that she has a good man as her husband.
As time moves along, she will share more with you, but you will need to stay calm and listen to what she has to share with you. This a very important time in her recovery and you are her rock. If you truly love this woman, do not shake the foundation at this time. She needs to continue to feel safe in order to reveal the rest of her crisis story to you. Dig deeper for patience and ask God to give you the strength to listen and be there for her.
T, I know you can do this. You are stronger than you think. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
