I agree with both Ad and Tallula 100%. I also see how I sometimes beat myself up, but I'd rather be there than get stuck in victimhood, like I was.

The reason we look inside is not to fix our marriage, it is so we can fix what is wrong within ourselves so we can improve ALL our relationships, starting with the one with the person looking back at us in the mirror.

Me & H: 44
D7, D6, S3
Together: 20y, M: 17y
EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12
D Negotiating began 2/15
OW seemingly gone on 3/15
Still negotiating D