Remember that just like yours, your W's path is neither good nor bad, it is simply her path and the results are of her choosing, even if it is not something you would choose. You never know where her... or your path, may lead.
I agree with you, KD, but only to a point. When my W's path takes her to a place that negatively impacts my S, it's bad. When she makes choices with negative consequences, it's bad - that is, unless she learns something from the bad choices.
True enough, jb. I would go out on a limb and say that at this moment, any path your W chose would have negative consequences, because her path is self focused rather than family focused.
jb - good to hear from you. Its amazing how different your path is from hers. She's clearly in a downward spiral and you're on a upward path. It's ironic that she chose this situation and you are gaining the most from it.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
True enough, jb. I would go out on a limb and say that at this moment, any path your W chose would have negative consequences, because her path is self focused rather than family focused.
Yes, KD, that would be the way I would hedge my wager.
jb - good to hear from you. Its amazing how different your path is from hers. She's clearly in a downward spiral and you're on a upward path. It's ironic that she chose this situation and you are gaining the most from it.
Thanks as always for checking in on me NTX. Yes, I guess you could say she's dealt the lemons and I've done my best to try to make lemonade out of them.
Thus far, it's been a reasonably quiet week in my situation and as far as I'm concerned, I hope it stays that way.
I had a great time last weekend being a chaperone for a youth conference I took my S to. Of course I got lots of rest
As I've been able to do every week of school, I took my S some Chipotle at school again today and hung out with my 6th grader friends, teachers and lunchroom aides.
I still continue to GAL, sometimes almost too much. My week's been fairly typical. I had a Relationships group on Tuesday night, Men's group tonight. Still get my exercise in. 17 mile ride on Tuesday night, 3 mile run this morning, and I'm shooting for a 34 mile ride tomorrow night. Then it's on to see the Dead Sea Scrolls on Saturday and I have a small church group meeting on Saturday night. Sunday morning I am teaching the fifth and sixth graders at church for the first service and I have greeting duty for the second service. Sunday afternoon, I may be hosting a small birthday party for my S.
Also, it's my W's weekend with my S but he really wants to go to church with me on Sunday morning. So I am going to drive 1.5 hours or so before church to make sure he's able to get there. As a bonus, I will have him on Sunday afternoon.
Yep, story of my new life I've created over the last couple of years.
Hey JB just checking in. Not fully updated in your sitch but read your last post. You are still the GALing strong--thats great! I feel exhausted reading all you do This morning I took my bike for a 14 mile ride before work and I thought about your bike rides. Yeah I'm training for a bike tour end of April so gotta keep up with you.
Keep us motivated JB!
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
JB: You are an inspiration! Still have ice and snow here, but looking forward to getting the bike out in a couple of weeks. It is the best GAL mechanism I can think of!
Keep on keeping on!
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
The quiet had to come to an end at some point, and there's thunder in the distance so to speak.
We met to have our taxes done last night. All was well until we found out we owe a substantial sum of money. If you're playing along, you may recall my W was fired from her job in January and is living with her parents. Well, this was just another blow to her. In the words of 2tp's thread while ago (which I loved), how many licks does it take? My W was in tears. I felt compassion for her. Not to the point of rescuing her (which I feel would be a big mistake), but I did feel bad for her.
Of course, what does she do later when I'm at my Relationships group at church? She follows up on the remaining detail for the D agreement, being the transportation of my S, that's what. She did it via text. That triggered a little anxiety, I think just because it's something I need to respond to. I waited a couple hours, and just responded back by first asking her if she was OK, because she appeared to be shaken. I told her I felt we should discuss any negotiation regarding the D via phone or better yet just meet up for coffee. I ended by saying I was emotionally shot and couldn't talk last night. She replied back with saying that she held it together for my S, but she was a train wreck. It was a big expense she wasn't prepared to deal with, and she's in dire straits as it is. She said she was really struggling. She also said we could talk later because she was spent as well.
I guess the positives I'm seeing from the conversation is that she's open with me. Obviously she still wants the D.
This morning I took my bike for a 14 mile ride before work and I thought about your bike rides. Yeah I'm training for a bike tour end of April so gotta keep up with you.
My W was in tears. I felt compassion for her. Not to the point of rescuing her (which I feel would be a big mistake), but I did feel bad for her.