But I don't feel angry in general and I don't feel it's appropriate to forgive (I mean it just doesn't feel authentic to me at this point, especially since he's in the MIDDLE of leaving and not asking for forgiveness; if he were asking it would look a lot different to me).
I feel situational anger about specific things atm, but I would not say right now I'm angry that H left or I'm angry that we're divorcing. So I think, at least for me, that Acceptance term is for after the anger. And not really along a line exactly on the route to forgiveness but a separate thing. It's letting go of the anger while the idea of forgiving is not really on the table yet.
and this:
Quote:
Anger is the great propellant to move us from one emotion, or stage, to the next.
A lot of time, when I found myself absorbed in anger, I would take a look to see what was around me at that time, and 99% of the time, I was moving through the process, and into the next stage.
rang very true for me just now. I can see when I feel my emotions boiling under the surface and just feel out of sorts and my thoughts repeatedly return to my sitch, and often I come here and spend more time trying to release whatever it is, I find after it settles down that I'm now in a different frame of reference. I feel differently about things in my sitch in general. Like shedding a layer.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
