Stuck..how do I get out???

[tiredndrained]

mizjjd...I normally will sit and watch tv but in the past he complained that I wouldn't spend enough time with him and ignorned him. I never ignored him but after working all day full time running an alzheimer's nursing home, I was busy with the kids, helping them with homework, giving them baths, getting them ready for bed, etc. while he just sat around watching television and it was impossible for me to break free to do so. Now they are a little older and I have some free time at night to sit and watch with him. I've been saying from the start that perception is reality. I guess what hurts so much is that his reality is that it is my fault. I take some responsibility but I just dont' think anything I've ever done to him compares to the all the pain he has caused. The ends don't justify the means. I try and remind myself of this but as I said prior, he really hurts me with the stuff he says. BTW..house is messy and I hate it but I work and he is home all day. He could help pick up and clean but he never does. It is easier to blame me for the house and the mess than to just do something.

AJM...thanks for the feedback. It is hard to see it when you are so close to the situation.

Takevowsserious...my H used to be a good father but he is no longer good to the kids either. He is also very irritated with them all the time. Especially my older child. He screams at thim all the time. It is so odd how these MLC men can just change and not just to their spouses but to their children as well. My H had a bad childhood and hated his parents for it. But, now he has basically become them.

This past weekend was one of the worst. He left Fri night, came home 6AM Sat. Small argument about it on Sat morning then he tried cudding with me and doing things around the house. At 3PM on Sat he asked me to pick stuff up off the floor because he was going to buy more carpet cleaner and said when he got back in a little while we would clean the rest of the carpets. Well, no return, no call. At 11AM on Sun had to take the S8 to emergency room. Nothing awful..turns out he sprained his foot. No call or text from H til 3:30PM asking where we were. I didn't respond and by 4PM when we got home he was gone again and didn't return until 7AM the next morning. I'm so sick of this. Cried all day Monday. Taking everyone's advise to heart...detaching ASAP. No more cuddling, I'm not calling him anymore other than about kids, trying not to talk to much to him unless necessary and working on myself and finding myself again.