Harder and harder

[Positivespin]

I just received my first 12:30am "I wont be home tonight" call....

Let me back up, The bomb dropped in early Jan. I received the ILYBNILWY speech, we were together too young, Ive been too distant the last eight months etc etc (I say that now after reading this board for two months)I ASKED HER IF THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE- SHE SAID NO. It turned my world upside down and I just started crying and shaking- we stayed up all night talking and drinking tea but I couldnt stop the shake.

The next day I left work early and began to put my "ducks in a row" I spoke with my therapist and got a referral to a MC. My wife agreed to attend- but it was 3 weeks away. I spent the next week begging and pleading.

We have a beautiful 3 YO little girl who is the second love of my life (with my wife). I was hesitant when my wife proposed to me because she had a affair previously ( 10+ years ago -but she came back)I was also VERY reluctant to have a child because I have a mental illness (controlled/stable for 15 years)because I didnt want to pass it on to her and I was emotionally abused as a child.

(Let me try to reel this in)

My Therapist asked me if I thought there was a PA and I immed said "No- But their prob is a EA". In late Jan we had a very long talk where she finally admitted to a 2 year long affair almost 15 years ago and she told me that back in October she posted on a adult site that specializes in extramarital affairs. I ASKED HER AGAIN IF THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE- SHE SAID NO. The next day I found this site and went out and bought DB.

In early Feb she came home and she had "Bruising" on her neck. I confronted her and she finally admitted to it.