I think I'm pretty clear on where you are Bruce. I'm just sad that you're still there.
And I'm not a doctor so I won't tell you that you need medication. But you do need more help than I can provide & more than once a week offers. You sound very depressed & bitter. I hope you'll get more help as so much more is available.
But then, I've said this to you before. I promise I won't say it again. Let me know if you change your mind or have a break through.
Good luck Bruce, I wish you well.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016