Grr, I am so glad if I can lift your spirits in any way.
Many people go through a kind of awakening midlife. We kind of take stock and see how we want to live the second half of our lives.
But for those people like your h and a lot of the other spouses we hear about on here, who have had catastrophic things happen to them in their youth, like a mother leaving them a three, it becomes a crisis.
And they have to go through all this and hopefully reconcile the broken parts in order to get to the other side.
G,we all have an angel and devil on our shoulders at times. I understand your confusion, but I would guess that you wouldnt really want things to go horribly for him.
He is hurting you and your son, but, he is the man you love.
And I know that you have trouble accepting this at times, but, he is hurting, too.
And the loving thing to do is to let him go. He needs to see this thing through.
No matter which way it turns out, you will be ok, G.
