To all you HD ladies with LD men.

[Lina]

From an HD male perspective, I'm sure it sounds like an instant hit, and with a lot of LD men, I'm sure it would help...

But for my H, at least, things like those make him feel pressured. He *knows* he's wanted, and he *knows* I do all the little things I can to let him know that, and to let him know I'm trying... but the problem is that he feels bad because he wishes he were more responsive and he just isn't. While he appreciates the physical side of the little things, most of the time - most - it just adds to his frustration and sense of inadequacy.

Which tends to have the opposite effect on his libido. It helps as it adds up over time to make what there is better - at least, I think so, or I wouldn't have been doing little things like this for the last year and a half - but it doesn't necessarily increase frequency.

So... well... *shrugs* Most of the HD women here have likely tried most of that. (I haven't tried some of them because I hate skirts and dresses, but anything involving different ways of touching/approaching him, sexy clothes/lingerie/panties/nudity... oh, yeah, been there, done that.)

The biggest thing that I've experienced is that I have to be very lucky with timing to trigger a reaction. His mind just has to be in the right place to go from happy loving to sexy loving.

I'm sure from an HD perspective it seems like a dream come true... but to the LD partner (or at least mine) it seems like a guilt-trip, almost. If he's missing something in our relationship, and I'm constantly throwing my underwear at him, that doesn't resolve *his* issues, it just shows that I'm obsessed with my own.

We've reached a point where he makes a point to be more appreciative of such gestures, and I make a point to be more appreciative of everything else he does... but before we reached this point, I banged my head against every wall I could find to entice him. And it just made things worse.

So I would say it depends on the relationship, and there are definitely times - 'specially in a SSM - when a woman needs to be *very* careful how she approaches gestures like those. I'm sure they help a lot of the time... but sometimes, no. They don't.