I am a little arrogant, but I can assure you it is in a good way.
Originally Posted By: SM
My mother in law thinks I am an INCREDIBLE husband. I really am selfless which is why I disappeared from here when people started telling me I looked down on her, or I was selfish. Couldn't be further from the truth.
Sociopaths think the same way - think highly of themselves and that everybody loves them. No, I'm not calling you a sociopath, but, most of your previous posts DO indicate, at least, a lack of humility and a definite high opinion of yourself.
I've never met someone who was just a 'little arrogant', and from your posts, you don't seem just a 'little arrogant' either. While I do not know you personally, and cannot make that claim for certain, if numerous people are seeing a personality trait, then maybe you might want to give it some consideration. If we see it thru forum posts, there's no doubt other people much closer to you see as well.
Also, along with some others, I agree that you certainly seem to want to control everything. None of the above is conducive to successful DBing...
I can almost guarantee you the Zoloft didn't start this ball rolling for your wife. Depending on the person, it should have taken three to six weeks for the increased dosage for her to notice the difference in her system - not just a few days. She was already processing all of her negative feelings before the BD - the initial prescription probably made her able to finally express what she had been feeling for a long time.
Originally Posted By: SM
In fact, tells therapist I am an awesome husband and a great partner because I am always there for her, and I am great with our daughter.
Originally Posted By: SM
More talk of how great I am, and how I come home early to help with with D2. No mention of marriage issues.
From what you wrote, can we assume you were present in the therapy sessions in which she praised your existence? Pardon the sarcasm, but, that's exactly how your post reads. Read between the lines - my W has made a similar comment about me, but, she still has her reasons for wanting out of the M - whether she truly realizes what those are or not - and that's a battle the WAS/MLCer has to fight on their own. No amount of input/help/controlling behavior from the LBS will make the process occur any faster.
Having gone back and re-read earlier posts, I see you were present. Whether you wish to acknowledge it or not, that in itself is a controlling act. Unless the C wanted to talk to me specifically, there's no way I'd consider sitting in on a session that's supposed to be for my W.
Also, as 25 pointed out, there does seem to be conflicting accounts in your story. Go back and read what you've written to see that point. There's a LOT of good advise being given, I'm just not sure it's getting thru...
