If we're doing it right, our life is not on hold, and we are busy living our new life. Enjoying our life does not require anything from another person.
That is partially true, but for me companionship is an important component to my life, I am not interested in living life alone. I'm not saying I need to be codependent, I just like sharing life with others, particularly someone I'm in love with. So perhaps I should have said I don't want to put my "love life" on hold indefinitely rather than "life" because my life is certainly not on hold.
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Personally, I'd wonder more what the odds are of finding "true love". (whatever that means to you) Certainly you'd agree you and your W had it for years.
W says we never had true love, and after having thought about it a lot over the last 9 months I think she's right. We were always more friends and companions than starstruck lovers to each other. It's really strange that we ever got married, it's like we did it because we were like "well we've dated 5 years, I guess we should get married now".
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Will your next "true love" relationship last longer than your present 20+ year M? The odds say nope.
My M is dead, it's never coming back. DB'ing says we need to look at this as starting a new R and M with our spouse. But is that something we want with the person our spouse has become? That's the question we're discussing here. People change. I'm not the person my W married and she's not the person I married. Should the two of us that exist TODAY forge a new marriage together because the kids we once were got married 20 years ago? Maybe, maybe not. That's the question many of us are asking ourselves. Either way we're starting over, whether it's with our old spouse or with a new person.
