Feeling so anxious this morning. H has been working on our taxes and I've been waiting for the results to do D17 college financing. So he texted me the numbers last night and I suspect something isn't right. A deduction is missing, something. Our combined income was 3k lower than last year, but adjusted income is 5k higher? It just goes back to all my hyper controlling tendencies and the dynamic of our relationship for me to have to point that out. But what am supposed to do? File incorrect taxes? So I texted back 'Thank you for doing that. I still need to get the exact car registration numbers for you. Do you want to review together before filing? Last year taxable income was 5k lower. Just not as much interest on house I guess?' I don't know how he'll read it, but it feels like 'what the hell did you screw up this time' and I really don't mean it that way! Is there any other way I could have handled this?
So what's the worst that could happen if you file incorrectly?
It wouldn't be the end of the world. I know, it feels like that but it wouldn't.
I've walked in your shoes, I feel your pain. I would have done the same, rolled my eyes, thought 'same shite, different day, here let ME fix it AGAIN.' And then been p!ssed and resentful.
Doesn't show a lot of respect for our Hs, does it? What are the chances he might have discovered the error before filing? You'll never know now. Might he have said at some point, do you want to look these over before they're submitted?
I'm not saying your wrong for asking the question but if you needed do that and feel it was the right thing, don't second-guess yourself.
Our controlling is usually driven by our fears. When we take an in-depth look at our fears, it's often possible to tame them. I usually go with the "What's the worst that could happen?" question and follow each scenario to its conclusion. It's usually not as catastrophic as my lizard brain would like me to believe. Don't know if you're read my thread but money has been a huge trigger for me because if I didn't control it to the penny, I was sure to end up 'in the poor house.' (there haven't been poor houses in a century, so the chances were nil of that happening). You can't learn to trust that things will work out until you give it a chance to work out.
Face your fears, that will help you with this day-to-day stuff.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
