I nursed my oldest for almost 2 years, she only stopped when I forced her to because I was pregnant again. My youngest nursed for about 16 months but I had to basically make her, she was too active to settle down & nurse. Personally, I would never let my nursing babe go. Your milk may stop and it'd be a very permanent decision for a short vacation that the baby won't remember anyways. And plus your H may be trying to get baby to wean so he'll have more freedom with him. But those are reasons based on an idealistic view of parenting, which may not be related to your current reality and future. So I hate voicing that opinion, but want you to know you have absolute support if that is your decision for your reasons. - Rebecca
I understand what you are saying - but the point here is that she is 1 of 2 parents.
Again if they made the breastfeeding decision together - that is one thing.. but if Findingself made this decision on her own.. it's another.
It will never be how she decides to raise her S - there will always be a "we"
And as for saying S won't remember it. That's an excuse. S may not remember the details, but he will remember the time together at some subconscious level.
There is a Dber on the board name "Crimson". His son is 2 and that boy misses his daddy all the time. Will he remember the details - no.. but he does know that his daddy loves him.
Bonding will happen - even at that age.
Plus is it really fair to H and H's family to deny the trip?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Both of you had some great advice, I am thinking I can discuss breastfeeding sitch with H and WE can decide what is best for our child and child's future...
If it is to stop breastfeeding and allow him to go on trip with S, or to continue for a few more months, make another trip later, or is it to have me attend the trip to (which is not my motivation), it is a hard choice H and I are communicating well at this time we have not argued on any topic since DB.
If we had been treating each other like we are now for the last 14 years we would not be were we are.
Also if he brings up the house I am going to ask if we can wait a little long on meeting with a realtor. IT was a bad decision on my part to have said anything the other day.
You know us Newbie's we make mistakes before we learn from them...
I did call and leave a message to make sure this was the case or not, I was very nice on the message saying that I needed to pay a bill and was just checking to see what money was present to which I was...but could not log on.
Need some veterans to answer here... my H changed all passwords while I was away and put me on an allowance that has continued so far. How would you normally have reacted? Try looking at that and doing something different. I marched down to the bank and cleared out everything I could and set up a personal account. That helped me feel more secure, but was probably sending the wrong message to H. But you have to protect yourself and your kid. Looking back, I wish I would have calmly called & said something like 'i see there's been some changes to our accounts, please tell me how you were planning on resolving our financial intermingling.' I learned after that my H was doing what he thought he had to to protect himself, thought I was going to be vengeful and go crazy with the credit. Plus he really wanted his privacy and to be out of my financial control. Doesn't make it right, but it may help if you can try to understand where he's coming from before reacting.
Are you working? Are you relying on him to take care of you? With the truck purchase and the house, he's obviously making some decisions that are not in your best interests. I think you should try communicating in a calm manner, then take steps to protect yourself.
I think you helped a lot...my family wants me to go and take out money too...
I am not working at this time and have not for almost two years, I was laid off when pregnant and then have been a stay at home mom.
I have no money to my name and $40 in my purse. I think he did change the passwords because he wants privacy on the account...all the bills will be paid...at least I think.
I think he also did the taxes and put some additional money in there too. All the accounts we have have his name as the primary. I had been thinking of using a credit card for my own personal purchases too but then it would need to be paid out of the checking account.
So hard to deal with this stuff when each time you think this is not the H i know!!
I am trying to understand where he is coming from on this I just wish we had discussed it but most likely he was looking at how I would react to it.
I like you line that you see there have been some changes to the account and just want to discuss it some.
No it does not make it right for him to do this to me also seeings there have been issues all ready with the fiances because of his part.
I have been doing well in keeping calm and will be meeting with a lawyer tomorrow just to touch base, I do not plan to file anything at this time but will how H is acting I am expecting papers any day and am also thinking there is either a EA or PA going on.
On sunday he took S to the park he said but also took S's high chair too...weird I though, S is 18 months old...weird to take a high chair to a park for a picnic...
H did open a separate checking account, I still have access to original and he is trying to determine still how to make it work.
I was calm and told him it sounded like a good idea and will work.
H also told me that a lawyer had advised him to separate finances at this time...nice that he slipped this in.
This is what I said to H.....
"So I set up my online account seems like it still looks like our original account at this time...is that right?
Then it sounded like you were still trying to determine how to continue with paying bills from the account plus have your own account. This is how I was understanding what you were saying. This sounds like a good idea and seems like it will work."
Personally, I would never let my nursing babe go. Your milk may stop and it'd be a very permanent decision for a short vacation that the baby won't remember anyways. And plus your H may be trying to get baby to wean so he'll have more freedom with him. But those are reasons based on an idealistic view of parenting, which may not be related to your