As long as she chooses to have a relationship with OM, I'm unavailable. There's no punishment intended here, no concern with the past, just a boundary for me.
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Just a word of caution. Remember to use that anger as a shield, and not as a sword.
An excellent reminder.
Originally Posted By: Spartan
Has your W thought she could really lose you these last 6-7 months? Especially with regards to OM?
Nope. How can you really show someone they can lose you if you aren't ready to let go of them?
Has your W thought she could really lose you these last 6-7 months? Especially with regards to OM?
Originally Posted By: Breakdown
Nope. How can you really show someone they can lose you if you aren't ready to let go of them?
I tent to agree with this. Regardless of all the GAL, I too see it hard that my W would see that she could really loose me, as I know I don't want to loose her, and in that it must show to her.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Nope. How can you really show someone they can lose you if you aren't ready to let go of them?
I have been following your stich Breakdown. I don’t think I can speak from any experience that is relevant as I am new but it seems to me you have come a long away and either way, you are a better person now and will continue to improve for yourself. It takes a real man/woman to see the bigger picture and plan for it. I hope I have the same stamina as you. I just hope by the end I don’t look back and regret the disrespect I am feeling. I hope you great luck on whatever you do!
Me:36,W:37 M:8, T:13 S:3yo, D:10yo (mine) BD 10/12 and 01/13 DBing since 02/13 W moved out 8/13
Can't do Plan B at the same time as Plan A. Plan B follows a good time of doing Plan A.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Not much to update...plan B is difficult. First couple of weeks weren't bad, but then W started closing the distance between us. It's difficult trying to balance respecting myself and my boundaries and wanting to be close to W. I find myself making excuses...as long as she is initiating, as long as I have no expectations, etc etc. That said, things are pretty good on the homefront.
Last night I went out to listen to some music and when I got home (W had called multiple times), W admitted that she was actually jealous. She had gone to dinner with a girlfriend, but she didn't like the idea that I was out having a good time without her. Nice that she's taking notice.
I meet with my attorney tomorrow morning to bang out our D agreement and have decided to take the day off and do some fun things for me afterwards. All you can eat sushi lunch sounds like a good idea
On the GAL front, I'm almost half way thru the Body Beast program. My shirts are getting tighter and I'm feeling and looking pretty good. I signed up to do Tough Mudder with a buddy of mine in the fall and am probably going to start training for a half marathon with SIL in the coming weeks. I made a batch of mead with my brother this weekend...first time in over a year, so that's goodness.
Interesting weekend coming up...W has her mom and best friend (with little ones) coming to the house to die eggs. MIL has never really liked me much, but W's BFF and I connected around x-mas and she was impressed with all my changes. I plan on sticking around just long enough for them to miss me and then disappear to a bday party in the early evening.
I'm in a similar emotional place. We arn't in the D process, and a month and a half into S, but my H is really pulling the cake eating card. Romancing me AND OW.
Unfortunately he has really responded to my pulling back. I still have stayed pulled back, even though I ML with him friday night. That's definately not happening again unless OW is out of the picture. But, I do feel that he has never felt that I would actually move on yet. He knows that I will be fine, and am ok with it ending, but not that I am actually more convinced that we will not get back together...which I am.
I don't plan to tell him this, I am just going to take a much stronger stance on OW. No more family time, as dark as I can get. Still kind, but limited contact.
Good luck with this weekend!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
