Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

I have been backsliding for the last few days and it is confusing me more. Last two weeks have been decent as in having a conversation that did not involve S but then boom, she is cold again. And I am ALWAYS reacting to her coldness. I need to get out of the mind set of “I will treat you the way you treat me”.

I went out with a few friends and then my SIL’s boyfriend the other day and it was not our intention to talk about W’s and my situation but it came up in a way where he said he was going to place X but didn’t since he was tired and stuff but then I was like “funny because when W left the house the evening, she said she was going to meet a friend first and then to meet you”. He couldn’t believe it. There was drinking involved so my big mouth couldn’t shut up. Long story short, that morning I went to volunteer s so that meant W had to get up at 8:30. She went out with her girls the night before. So the beginning of the week when she said she was planning on going out on Friday, I told her that I planned on volunteering that Saturday morning but I will get up at 6 and do the morning stuff with S. She said she was fine with it and that she has practice doing so. So I left it at that. So apparently, SIL’s BF tells me she is mad at me. I was like why…. He said she was talking to her sister and said how I should have cancelled my plans since she made the plans first. I guess her sister was on my side of telling her that I am volunteering and that she is going out drinking so she shouldn’t be mad. Then W said to her sister “who’s side are you on anyway”. This is not the W I know. Her sister and her get along so much its not even funny. They look at each other and think of the same thing and laugh like hell. So for her to say that to her is not her usual self.

The more and more I see of the changings in W, I keep questions myself if this is the same person and if not, do I really want to be with her? Is it the fog, the years of feeling neglect, still feeling anger towards me (which some of it is warranted)?

How do you guys know this is really the same person deep down in there you fell in love with? I know people change and I have changed as well but what if that person is gone and never to be found. How can we tell?