Tired of Dealing with MLC

[rosesarered]

Journaling...earlier today I was feeling very down, and super confused. I have been cycling through different emotions. Two weeks ago, all I wanted was out. I was ready to drop the rope. After my discussion with him, after I told him I was going to move forward with filing. He has been super nice. He said he has been trying...and I guess I am holding on to that and I don't know why. He doesn't seem to be pushing for a D. But he doesn't seem to be wanting to reconcile either. After yesterdays conversation, he is still swirling deep in the fog. I am still amazed he wants to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Now I wonder if I am going to regret asking him to go to this event on Sat. Even though I will have no expectations, its hard not to get my hopes up just a little.