She says that she doesn't feel comfortable in the house anymore... like there is a stranger living in the basement... for the first month when my daughter came here my W was down there for a half hour at bed time talking to her about her day... making sure she was good... even after the stealing thing she was still ok. but the more stress she was getting with school and started to hang out more and staying out later for drinks after school she then would start saying that she didn't feel comfortable with my D in the house.. because she steals and sneaks food. wonders what else she is up too.... and she said that her D didn't want to invite friends over anymore because she didn't want my D around her friends. kid stuff..
My daughter came here with nothing... we went out and bought her all new clothes.. an Iphone. stuff like that... but no she didn't have any money of her own.. we found out later she took the money because she was buying some of her new friends at school lunch to try to make and impress new friends... she started at a new high school and didn't know anyone so she was trying to make friends..
after that we found that out I gave her money so she could have her own spending money.
My D did come from a house hold where stealing and lying were the norms there... or would watch her mom do it and get away with it all the time... she's an awesome kid considering what she came out of.... and I am extremely proud of her...
no I wasn't trying to imply that my daughter is inferior at all.. I was trying to show the difference between them.. two different characteristics ... that's all... by no means do I think that...
I did not punish her for taking the food.. I think she uses it as comfort... but I did punish her for lying about it... she would take it.. .then deny it and afterwards admit too... I am working on her honesty.. again at her moms this was normal behavior... but I keep telling her that's not how things work at my house... if you want something ... take it.. she doesn't have to hide...
I do believe she was truly sorry for stealing the money.... she was embarrassed when she came out and admitted it..
Yes the step daughter misses me.. and does call me.... my W is nervous about letting her see me because she thinks I am going to tell her about catching my W with the OM....which I would never do!.. she's a child.... her daughter still thinks they are friends and he is rarely at their house when step d is at home... usually goes there on the weekends when step d is at a sleep over or at her dads house.... the step d isn't really that close with her dad... she has always been much closer to me than her father... so I do believe there was also a bit of a jealousy issue when my daughter came...
Yes I agree they both needed attention because they were both starting high school.....
I agree that I need to be a better father... and I am trying so hard... in the beginning I was trying to make sure that everyone was happy with the new living conditions.... I am involved with the raising and rules for the kids.. I don't leave it all up to my W at all... I work from 6 am and get home at 530 everyday... and half day on saturdays.. when I am not at work I am home.. so it's not like I wasn't coming home at night... I was gone enough already.. so naturally my W did have to take on most of responsibilities and problems with the kids... as well as trying to study for nursing. I know it was a lot to deal with.
I think my writing skills may not be the best because some of the things you are misinterpreting... when I said about my daughter doing 180's I meant it as starting her new life... building a new life together with me.. and knowing that they can't be anymore lying.. stealing... stuff like that.. it was me using a bad choice of words... that's all.. I love my daughter very much and want only the best for her... please know that my number one goal is her. and her being happy.. she tells me all the time that coming to live with me has saved her life.... I take that very seriously...
No I don't believe my wife left at all because of my D... but since we didn't have any major issues in our M... she choose to blame her need to run and start a new life and the affair on my daughter and her being unhappy in the house...
again I can't explain this enough... .my W before this year was never like this.. would never talk like this.. or put blame on anyone let alone my D... someone who she has watched grow over and loved over the years. My W was just as happy as I was when D came to live with us. W went from being one person to another.. If W had ever been like this before towards D we would have been done a long time again... same as I would never mistreat step d
you are hitting me 2X4's...... keep them coming... I clearly need it..
BTW. I did just get the DB book..
M-39 W-41 T-9yrs BD-Dec 2012 “regardless of your choices and the fact that they may have caused me to experience painful emotions, I still love you because I recognize the purpose of our journey.”
