The few interactions we have are loving and positive. They have been for awhile, but I have now removed my 'needs'/'neediness' (selfishness?) from the equation.
He knows where I stand with regards to the M and him. I feel I have communicated this in a loving manner. But I fear with NC, he will forget about me, or think I no longer care. I fear NC will be the end of hope and the reality of the current status quo.
Ah - so you have your answer.....
and it's a hard truth of a fear that is very difficult to face.
But fear and love can't live in the same space. You have to make a choice.
And it sounds like they are.. love him and let him go OR desperately hold on because of fear....
The latter won't work... because the truth is that your H is already gone. Holding onto that fear is holding onto an echo of once was. Not was is.
I say that not to hurt you but in the hopes of freeing you....
just as he made the choice to walk away - only he can make a choice in walking towards you.
Yes you influence him by showing best self, GALing, etc.. but in the end.. this is his journey to take.. not yours.
I know that's a hard pill to swallow.. but I think you intellectually get it.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
